Seize the Day

I've met some amazingly inspirational people in my life and I am surrounded by a handful of special people. We have laughs, share wine, share thoughts and generally try to provide the boost that is needed when one of us is down. I have the utmost appreciation for these people in my life and am pleased they are part of it.
I have a couple of friends who are no longer within the realms of the living, but their memory will be with me until the day I die. 

We shared a unique bond and a hospital ward. Their names were Lisa and Lynsey. Lisa suffered from Hodgkins disease and was a promising artist and graphic designer. She had just hit the five year remission mark and it returned. It is never a good call. I remember her friend used to bring her laptop onto the ward so that Lisa could make use of her bedtime and do a bit of project work. She was funny, intelligent and one of the most understanding people I have ever met. When I first went onto the ward I had my own room, I was a recluse! When I had to give up my own room I'd draw the curtains. Not because I didn't like anyone, I was just remarkably shy and in a funny place at the time, (not for the obvious I may add, I was always fairly level headed about that. I had undergone my treatment and was admitted back in with complications). She gradually coaxed me out with her conversation.

Lynsey, was from Carlisle, but lived with her boyfriend/fiance in Scotland. She had a career in journalism and was doing well for herself, but she suffered from Hodgkins Lymphoma. She again was effortlessly bright, smiley and seemed to appreciate the crafting hobby I had going to keep me occupied. I used to use glass paints on acetate and turn them into cards. Her mum used to visit and it provided an additional talking point.

I kept in touch with both when I left the ward. I exchanged several letters with Lynsey and often talked of meeting for coffee when things settled down. I even received a parcel from Lisa. It contained a sketch book and a video copy of "Dead Poets Society". She knew I loved to sketch and I'd sit beside her and chat whilst she was busy on her graphics projects. She knew as we talked that I was in an awkward place in my life and time and time again, when I find myself in this awkward place, my mind returns to the time I spent with them and the gift she sent me. Handwritten in the front of the hardback sketchbook was a quote from the film, which she talked about many times.

"Gather ye rosebuds while ye may, old time is still a-flying. For this same flower that smiles today, tomorrow will be dying."

When I look back, I suppose I didn't realise how relevant it would be. It was essentially her message to me, to live life without worry and without hesitation, to be happy and yet she was that flower.

Time passed and we lost touch for a while. I continued to try and send cards when I could. Until one awful night during the middle of December several years ago, I received a call from Lynsey's mum. "I'm sorry to have to tell you, but Lynsey and Lisa both passed away a few months ago." I felt my stomach lurch and blood drain from my face. 

Two more victims and how was I the lucky one? The complications and the secondary, tertiary problems; two more lives amongst others that I knew who had lost their fight. There is no drama in this, no fabrication or poor me, just a very confused how and why almost guilt.

My family and I are still in touch with several of the families we met, some from a meeting at a respite holiday home in Ayr. We receive annual updates on how their families are now doing. I am still in touch with Lynsey's mum, we send Christmas cards and letters exchanging news on our families and how time flies. Christmas just gone, what really touched me was how she thanked me for my continued support throughout the years after Lynsey's death. One thing they all do is enquire about my health and my check ups. It's almost like a lifeline and it's so lovely to know I am cared about beyond the boundaries of my own family and after such time has passed.

They are my true inspiration, so no matter what the future holds, I will continue to push myself and pick myself up in only the way I know. The "friends" who aren't really friends, the inconveniences, the crap weather, bad business weeks and all the rest, it doesn't really matter when I think about them. 

So to those whose chance was taken away too early to seize the day, here's to you!

Love always,

Sarah x