Camara

Module finished, tax returns done and I even scored tickets for Einaudi! Today feels like a brand new life... phew! So to wind down I did a little sketching last night, fairly late on as usual! This is Camara, one of the two sister lionesses from Munda Wanga. I've taken the sketches from some weeny photo's I took on my blackberry phone at feeding time one day - she was eating at the time hence the strange mouth and the rest of the photo was so blurry it wasn't worth interpreting just for a sketch. Still I liked her eye!

Painting with......

As I approached the counter one day at my local art shop, I felt hesitant at my purchase. In my usual way I had to express this. I'm hesitant with most things, lack of confidence really impairs rational judgement sometimes! I wanted to create something bold and striking, but it's all too easy to pick up a pencil and become consumed with detail. Don't get me wrong, I love my pencils, I am a pencil geek and my collection is ever growing. There is always a grade or colour that I wouldn't mind adding to my collection!
Paint holds a different appeal, yes I can be as careful and precise as I want, but I can also be a little reckless and fluid. The shop assistant advised me that I should have a few drinks before I started painting!

So two sheets to the wind and a belly full of Jim Beam here is a very colourful interpretation of Dave Grohl's guitar. It may not be precise in perspective, or have minute detail, but it has broken down a few barriers in just slapping on the paint and seeing what happens!

Puppy Dog Eyes.

Just because everyone loves puppy dog eyes!

Graphite pencil on watercolour paper.

Happy Sunday x

Bye Bye Mon Amour

This morning I played a piece of music by a composer and musician I have followed since I was around 19. His name is Ludovico Einaudi. I find his music so emotive and I just wanted to share this beautiful piece from his album Nightbook! If I am lucky maybe I will get to go and see him when he plays in Newcastle in April!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_gRg-piz-M

Just remember to skip the ad at the start!!

Is there anybody out there??

There is something quite nice about being able to sing to myself in an entirely empty room. Loud and without a care. There's something quite nice about being able to type away too, type what I want, when I feel like it and then simply move on.

I know there are a few people that have fallen across my profile, but is anyone actually reading regularly? I'll continue by my own little self anyway, just curious! :)

An Elephant Never Forgets!

An elephant never forgets and like an elephant neither do I. Well, in a way..... my retention is for the sort of material that people would probably rather I forgot and all sorts of other trivial nonsense. The important stuff like, where did I put my keys down 3 seconds ago, what date is .......'s wedding and what time a flight is seems to bypass me well and truly. I really need to start and compartmentalise! 

Elephants do however have pretty poor eyesight, something which I'm not used to! On that note I give you a few quick studies of these wonderful intelligent creatures. I'm building up a lot of reference material at the moment in the hope that come the summer, I'll be able to do a lot more painting. Hopefully by then my peepers will be back to normal! Trunks crossed!!

Seize the Day

I've met some amazingly inspirational people in my life and I am surrounded by a handful of special people. We have laughs, share wine, share thoughts and generally try to provide the boost that is needed when one of us is down. I have the utmost appreciation for these people in my life and am pleased they are part of it.
I have a couple of friends who are no longer within the realms of the living, but their memory will be with me until the day I die. 

We shared a unique bond and a hospital ward. Their names were Lisa and Lynsey. Lisa suffered from Hodgkins disease and was a promising artist and graphic designer. She had just hit the five year remission mark and it returned. It is never a good call. I remember her friend used to bring her laptop onto the ward so that Lisa could make use of her bedtime and do a bit of project work. She was funny, intelligent and one of the most understanding people I have ever met. When I first went onto the ward I had my own room, I was a recluse! When I had to give up my own room I'd draw the curtains. Not because I didn't like anyone, I was just remarkably shy and in a funny place at the time, (not for the obvious I may add, I was always fairly level headed about that. I had undergone my treatment and was admitted back in with complications). She gradually coaxed me out with her conversation.

Lynsey, was from Carlisle, but lived with her boyfriend/fiance in Scotland. She had a career in journalism and was doing well for herself, but she suffered from Hodgkins Lymphoma. She again was effortlessly bright, smiley and seemed to appreciate the crafting hobby I had going to keep me occupied. I used to use glass paints on acetate and turn them into cards. Her mum used to visit and it provided an additional talking point.

I kept in touch with both when I left the ward. I exchanged several letters with Lynsey and often talked of meeting for coffee when things settled down. I even received a parcel from Lisa. It contained a sketch book and a video copy of "Dead Poets Society". She knew I loved to sketch and I'd sit beside her and chat whilst she was busy on her graphics projects. She knew as we talked that I was in an awkward place in my life and time and time again, when I find myself in this awkward place, my mind returns to the time I spent with them and the gift she sent me. Handwritten in the front of the hardback sketchbook was a quote from the film, which she talked about many times.

"Gather ye rosebuds while ye may, old time is still a-flying. For this same flower that smiles today, tomorrow will be dying."

When I look back, I suppose I didn't realise how relevant it would be. It was essentially her message to me, to live life without worry and without hesitation, to be happy and yet she was that flower.

Time passed and we lost touch for a while. I continued to try and send cards when I could. Until one awful night during the middle of December several years ago, I received a call from Lynsey's mum. "I'm sorry to have to tell you, but Lynsey and Lisa both passed away a few months ago." I felt my stomach lurch and blood drain from my face. 

Two more victims and how was I the lucky one? The complications and the secondary, tertiary problems; two more lives amongst others that I knew who had lost their fight. There is no drama in this, no fabrication or poor me, just a very confused how and why almost guilt.

My family and I are still in touch with several of the families we met, some from a meeting at a respite holiday home in Ayr. We receive annual updates on how their families are now doing. I am still in touch with Lynsey's mum, we send Christmas cards and letters exchanging news on our families and how time flies. Christmas just gone, what really touched me was how she thanked me for my continued support throughout the years after Lynsey's death. One thing they all do is enquire about my health and my check ups. It's almost like a lifeline and it's so lovely to know I am cared about beyond the boundaries of my own family and after such time has passed.

They are my true inspiration, so no matter what the future holds, I will continue to push myself and pick myself up in only the way I know. The "friends" who aren't really friends, the inconveniences, the crap weather, bad business weeks and all the rest, it doesn't really matter when I think about them. 

So to those whose chance was taken away too early to seize the day, here's to you!

Love always,

Sarah x

Seeing.

When I first started drawing regularly again a couple of years ago I tended to limit myself with the things that seemed simplest. I knew I couldn't draw a face to save my life, so I rarely tried. Hairy beasts were a problem, so I wouldn't show my efforts. Long hair of what seems to be one colour was always a problem, it just looked bad!

Thing is, no one taught me how to see properly when I was drawing. I still don't sometimes, especially when I'm so consumed with what is going wrong in the drawing I forget to look up and just see. Squinting to take in the colour variations and subtle light and shade, shapes and true proportions, it is something that is still coming with experience. 

I'm making an effort to draw daily now and it is something that I really miss if I do not do. If I can't find a subject matter, then I'll have an improv day, where I'll just make something up. Usually they go down the best! They tend to be highly coloured painted pictures with patterns and simplistic figures, involving what I feel is little skill. Not that I'm being condescending towards those that like the pictures, they just aren't my most technical and at the end of the day it is just nice to know that somebody actually likes my work.

The chimp I drew below was one of my first successful "long haired beasts". So successful that it was given to a friend as a Christmas present. It still hangs framed on her wall and she often reminds me how much she loves Mungo as she named him. She tells me his eyes follow her around the room!

So I guess the moral of today's story is, learn how to see properly. Don't rush through life and just assume what you are seeing is true. In fact learn how to listen as well! It is a valuable asset of a person to really be able to listen without judgement and presumptions instead of just waiting for their turn to answer.

Mungo - Coloured pencil on paper.

Mia Bella Vita e Pazza

During the summer of last year I was fortunate enough to take a small holiday to Italy. A friend joined me last minute on this little trip, so it very much went from a trip planned with trepidation to a fun ten days of sun, healing minds, friendship and new experiences. 

 During that time we squeezed in the four cities of Venice, Florence, Rome and Pisa. Each place I loved, but for very different reasons. It was hot, hot, hot, but there was plenty of ice cream and chilled prossecco, (far too cheap and far too much of!) to help cool us down. 

 I've always loved Italy and ever since my first trip to Milan with the design college in 2001, I have wanted to return to see more of the country. The food, the language, the ambience has always warmed me. Everything seems to be made aesthetically, there isn't much that is ugly about Italy, well except for certain corruptions. 

 The scenery is beautiful and I think if ever I tried to paint it, I would never do it justice. The hay bales and fields of the countryside turn over in my mind, bathed in the warm glow of sun. I've yet to explore much more of Italy, further South, the lakes in the North. My list of places to visit grows by the day, I'm eager yes and ambitious, but my philosophy is never say never. 

 Anyway, as I haven't posted for a couple of days I thought I'd share some doodles. I was flicking through my photographs last night and I ended up creating some sort of montage of rough sketches of the trip. I'm not the best at perspective when it comes to buildings etc, though admittedly I didn't try very hard.The light also bounced off the page as I was taking photos, so it has affected the appearance a little, in particular the spray of orchids and horse (right).

Oh and this is the only time I've ever attempted to draw a Vespa. Needs a little practice one feels!
I'd like to do this as a painting in colour, but as of yet I haven't decided whether acrylic or watercolour would be better. Either way it needs something a little more, Italy is after all a very colourful country!

Simple Life.

Simple things and complex minds
Words and worlds will always collide.
A fall from glory where truth has failed
Unity in justice a conquests tale.
Rise above and beyond the stars
In search of the answer, one travels far.
But look deep within your own space and time
Be present in love and your world will be fine.

Just Doodlin!

When I paint without form, my methods can be a little hesitant, a bit wishy washy. Maybe that is one reason I should work in oil more frequently, you need to think about adding a medium for dilution you can't just dip into water. I received some painting knives for Christmas, which when I get around to using them should help me get brave with this.
I've done a little textile work in the past and I love looking at the forms and patterns used in materials around the world. I brought back fabrics from Thailand and Zambia and I love mooching around Asian fabric shops looking at the sari materials.
I haven't painted for a while and I wasn't in the mood for getting into anything too serious last night, so I ended up doodling. All improvised over a quick sketch of an ornament I have at home, using elements of Asian patterns and vivid colours. I have discovered an acrylic medium which contains tiny glass beads, it gives a wonderful shiny gem like appearance. I have used on the eyes and intermittently throughout the painting.
Acrylic on canvas paper.

The Reason.

Most things in hindsight happen for a reason. We meet people, end up places, have conversations, notice something and if you stop and think about it it often falls into some neat little place like it was always meant to be there.

I first met Rocky during the summer when I was helping at an animal charity event in a local park. He was at the time being looked after by the RSPCA and was being walked around the park by a guardian. On the day he sported a bright vest and written on it was looking for a home.

He looked so subdued I couldn't help but go over to him during my round of leaflet distribution. He was placid and at the time looked like a fairly small hound. I spoke to his guardians about his history and where he had come from. He was a two year old Staffordshire bull terrier and had been being kept at a kennels literally five minutes down the road from where I was living. Apparently the shelters were full and the kennels is a regular fall back in this situation. A mere skip through the nature reserve to reach this kennels, I couldn't believe it. 

I visited him several more times that day and my heart was melting with increasing speed. Having three house rabbits however, sometimes you have to think practically. How would they react, how would he react, would someone end up as dinner?

I hate being practical a lot of the time, it's no fun, but in this case it was necessary. I happened to speak to my mum that day, who was with my sister. My sister had apparently been cautiously thinking about getting her eldest son a dog for Christmas, which baffled me. My sister is not an animal person, by her own admission and what knocked me for six is when she said she was coming up to meet Rocky at the kennels the next day. Even as we walked down, my sister talked about how they probably wouldn't get Rocky, but wanted to know more about the adoption process.

Well we arrived, my sister, her fiancé and I and once Rocky was out and on a lead, there may as well have only been the two of them. It was like a match made in heaven, he obviously melted her too. My sister works with children, she's a natural and the relationship she had with Rocky was so natural too.

One week later they were visited by the original guardian who checked over their home and talked to them about dog ownership and the adoption process. The next day Rocky moved in! A second chance and a happy new home.

It's like he's been there all along, he fits so well into the family. When I think about the chance encounter in the park and my brief conversations following, I can't help but smile to myself. It was meant to be!

Pastel on watercolour paper.

Once

You made me feel some kind of wonderful,
My sunshine heart you ignited with your eyes,
Whispering my name with more-ish tones,
Nothing could go wrong and on and on your silken voice sung.
A moment so surreal set in our own little world.
And now I file your memory there at the back
Nothing more than a past dream it seems,
I look back and you're not there.
My silhouette melts into the darkness that you once lit,
Eyes sting and a heavy heart sighs,
Alone again or......

Memory Filing.

Some moments will stay with you for the rest of your life. Both good and bad will haunt your visual memory, words will evoke a scene, a certain smell will take you back to someone or something, it's inevitable.

I had several of these unforgettable moments whilst I was away in Zambia. I went alone and for me that was probably one of the best decisions I ever made. I was put in that position, despite being shy, that I just had to go out and do things, organise my own trips, occupy myself and I felt good doing it. Albeit there are some times you wish you had someone there to share a special moment with, but overall it was great. If I travelled alone, I normally made friends when I got to where I was going with greater ease, rather than retreating to what I knew.

I have a file in my head of these moments, specifically for Zambia..... it's a special place! They go in order of level of mind blown and happiness factor be that hanging from the falls, a sight, nuzzling up to an animal or a mind bending conversation with someone. With a lot I can remember the sights, the sounds, the smells and even the words used at the time. It's like my own personal time capsule that I can step into whenever I choose.

One most awesome day was the day I got to visit the lion and cheetah sanctuary in Livingstone. I was breathless from the very start, no fear just such an utter state of peace. Such a rare moment I am only able to count on one hand for people and experiences who have brought me anywhere near to this feeling. These animals are so awesome and it was such a privilege to even be in their company, never mind face to face.  

The area is rife with poachers and the day before I arrived, one of the largest elephants in the area was sadly taken down. The ivory was retrieved however the culprits were not found. It's a sad state of affairs to be in, but in that sense the sanctuary does an amazing job at protecting animals and keeping their numbers going in the right direction. Many will serve as ambassadors for their species  as they have circumstances which prevent them from being released, educating people of their importance to the ecosystem. However there are many more who will make it back to the wild and lead a happy and healthy life. I'd love to part of the hands on protection process everyday, it's so important to preserve what we have on this beautiful earth, but while I can't be there I will do what I can from here.

So here I am face to face with Suzy (I think)!

Some Kind of Wonderful. 
Graphite pencil (various grades) on paper.

My Little Man

My nephew's are amazing and if I never have my own children I will be happy knowing I was so close to them. The way they were raised when younger, made them almost feel like younger siblings at times.

I have two nephews descended from my sister. They are fairly distinctive in their build, the thick blonde hair, blue eyes and 'big' sumptuous  well defined lips, almost like Betty Boop. They are exceptionally bright where they apply themselves, they have their heads screwed on, but have dreams which is great. Despite the youngest having just turned 9 he is a young nine year old, but I'd still apply all of the above to him. He likes to dress up as a pirate or as whatever else his mood takes and he can talk for Britain. He also likes to be in charge of his own wardrobe, the outfits he has put together for himself can be a talking point in themselves.

A houseful of students used to live below my Mum, who held regular parties. I've seen them (primarily female) sat hanging off his every word after meeting him. I've seen him work the room at weddings where he danced all night with the groom, funerals, bithday's.....People are just drawn to him, he has a very knowing way of talking with them. He is very funny, but also very sincere and he cares with abundance and always wants to be able help in some way. The local hobo passed away and he sobbed, his hamster too and it was all the same to him, he just cares so much. He's also capable of diva like tantrums too, but we'll let that one go for now.

People have often commented that he has been here before. I could quite easily believe that! 

Below is a section of a drawing of him, taken from a photograph on a visit to the Harry Potter experience. Posed obviously with HP passport and wand (not seen)! 

Graphite pencil (B, 2B, 6B) on watercolour paper.

To the Drawing Board.

So in no small measures I have signed up to a 30 day regular practice challenge. Drawing has become a bit lax lately and so when I found an online drawing course offering the challenge, I thought well what have I to loose? It was free, there are many others doing it, (despite only having a one day sign up) and there is a forum to share your progress. 

The idea is to find an activity that you do everyday to use as your trigger and preferably in the morning, such as brushing your teeth or getting dressed, having breakfast. I personally know that I descend from feline bloodlines, I could sleep anywhere and at anytime of day, it could be the one thing I'm a natural at! So therefore I know that first thing in the morning is not the time for my trigger, any chance of a few extra minutes in bed and I'll take it then I just need to focus on getting out of the front door! I at least have to wait until I've had my coffee....ah ha and there it is. I know if I can't have it around 9 then I will often try and squeeze it in at 11.

So the first few days is just about forming this habit, actually getting to your sketchbook at trigger O'clock! At this point (for now) you can write "hunny I'm home" or do a bit of doodling or whatever takes your fancy. In a few days time the drawing exercises will apparently start, no clues yet, but judging by it being a 30 day course there may well be one a day ;)

Soooo with my two easels, chest full of pencils, litres of paint, a dozen empty canvases and sketchbook to fill, where on earth do I find the time to do my accounts, write and submit work for two courses, train, run a business six days a week and one day voluntary at Kirkley? Oh and don't forget find a project somewhere in the world to grace with my presence with!

Best sleep on that one maybe!

Dream Candy.

Cloudy heads and smoky dreams, fill our minds with things surreal.
Twilight falls and heavy eyes close another day to fortify,
Fantasy, lust and fairytale's, for these things the mind sets sail.